Our home is coming together, the wedding plans are starting to take shape, I just cant get this restlessness and stress to shake. ( Wow I didn't even mean to rhyme. )
I've hit a wall. The only thing I'm sure of is that I want to be with Scott and... that's about it. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and haven't for some time. I keep making plans, to make plans, and well we see where that gets me.
I guess you could say I'm facing uncertainty but that's not because I don't take risk, cause I do, and I'm still paying for many of them. This is becoming a problem because it sends me through a whirl wind of living in my head, tiny break downs and depression. All of which Scott has to live with, poor guy.
I'm getting to a breaking point where I need to jump and try one crazy idea or learn how to put more energy into the things I love rather then wasting it on my current job that I hate. I seem to really struggle with this. Any advise?
I do have hope however. Hope that I'll find something to do with myself and the energy to run with it. Hope that I will just calm myself and have some clarity. It maybe it's the weather being so beautiful here in Portland that's lifting my good mood vibes a bit, but hey I'll take it!
This is under the St. John's bridge which Scott parents just moved two blocks from!
The dress is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteDo you have friends where you're at?
I went thru depression during the first year of marriage/life in CT. It was the hardest thing I've ever been thru- and for Kyle too.
For me, it was all about getting to a place of accepting that I can be content where I am in life, even if there are things I feel like I could/should do.
I also was prescribed a medication to help even things out. It worked wonders. And now I've basically weaned myself off of it and I'm still doing great. :)
Best wishes!